I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
