Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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