my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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