the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
