Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
