whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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