im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize