Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
