Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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