so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
