It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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