Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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