I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
