apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
