i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize