bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
