overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
