Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
