We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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