Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish I only lived at night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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