just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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