He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
