Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
