It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
