we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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