i just wanna soil my oats bro
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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