id be glad to
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
