help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
