Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
