If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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