2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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