I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
