Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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