nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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