you guys were way drunker than both of me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
