Can i not drive my cunt home
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
