That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
