just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
