My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize