did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
