My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize