Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
