Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i want to swaddle you in tequila
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
