im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
