from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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