i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
