I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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