Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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