why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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