He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
