What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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