Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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