Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
