All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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