I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
