you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
