i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
