Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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