He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
