Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
