Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
