Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
