dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wanna passion pit in your ass
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
