we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
