wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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