Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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