one might say we're banned from that church
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize